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View Full Version : 40 things you'll never hear from a redneck


Emmit
04-08-2004, 11:55 PM
saw this posted somewhere today, and I know it fits some of you!!!

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

sharps990
04-09-2004, 01:18 AM
"checkmate" ahahah thats the best

if you like this stuff u will espically like some of Jeff Foxworthy's stuff

sharps

bower23
04-09-2004, 01:30 AM
I like the one about Walmart!! Emmit have you seen 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour'? That is just too funny....

thog94
04-09-2004, 01:31 AM
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rules!!

bower23
04-09-2004, 01:45 AM
"If your floating down the river, drinking a beer, peeing on yourself, there's no tention there is there?"

Emmit
04-09-2004, 08:31 AM
Yes I'm familiar with Both Mr. Foxworthy, and the BCT!!!

Git er Done!!!

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.

Reverserewind
04-09-2004, 10:57 AM
You guys should check Fubar (http://www.fubar-themovie.com/title_page.html) out. Good old Canadian rednecks eh you hosers!!! Pretty funny movie if you've got some time to kill.

Emmit
04-09-2004, 11:14 AM
Bob and Doug MacKenzie is what the "Great White North" is all about

Reverserewind
04-09-2004, 12:10 PM
Bob and Doug MacKenzie is what the "Great White North" is all about

LOL hell ya!! :cheers: classics!

dynastySSS
04-09-2004, 12:23 PM
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rules!!


heck yea!!

boathouse
04-09-2004, 01:15 PM
Blue Collar Comedy was funny....the first 2 times it came on TV. After that it got pathetic. Especially when you see them on different shows telling the same jokes. Seeing Chapelle do stand up live is hilarious though.

warpedx
04-09-2004, 02:04 PM
Good stuff, and Strange Brew rocks!
Oh yeah, sent this and the other post like it to a bunch of people I don't talk to anymore, lol.

thog94
04-10-2004, 04:35 PM
You might be a redneck if you have a tattoo like this...

firemedic30
04-10-2004, 05:54 PM
Take off eh! No way you hoser!

I don't want to be drunk in PUBLIC, I want to be drunk in a bar. They threw me into PUBLIC!

omg, my gut is stretched with laughter!!

MoogLe
04-10-2004, 11:01 PM
jesus christ TK

why?? just why?!?!?!?!

thog94
04-10-2004, 11:36 PM
jesus christ TK

why?? just why?!?!?!?!


I just got it in an e-mail and thought that it fit this thread :tongue:

MoogLe
04-11-2004, 12:13 AM
I just got it in an e-mail and thought that it fit this thread :tongue:
thank god we dont have rednecks down here :)

Reverserewind
04-11-2004, 12:43 AM
LOL ok no one really needed to see that picture "First Down" too far!